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Hi SpaceMonkey I have learned something new; pantoum!...thank you for sharing- I loved reading it- especially the visuals- that your words conjured up!..regards Mike

Hi SpaceMonkey You definitely tightened it up with the 2nd draft- but a writer is never happy with a version until it is done!....I have rewritten and rewritten- then let it sit for a couple days- when I go back and I have to make still more changes it\'s not done yet...either way you re-write, the choice is yours- but you are on the track for sure- so keep writing until it\'s done- and I will be reading-what you post!...regards Mike

[quote author=joey_matthews\" data-ipsquote-contenttype=\"forums\" data-ipsquote-contentclass=\"forums_Topic\" data-ipsquote-contentid=\"102\" data-ipsquote-contentcommentid=\"760\" data-cite=\"joey_matthews date=1443982529]You did a great job portraying that Mike, really, you captured it within words very nicely.
Thank you for sharing the above, it\'s nice to see the insight behind the piece.[/quote]Hi Joey, Thank you!..and I am really enjoying posting on this website- some really great people you have here!!..regards Mike

Hi SpaceMonkey Thank you for the really great comments- I know my writing in form and in structure can take a bit of getting used to- ( I have been told this many times before) but it is the most comfortable writing style for me- I also like writing subjectively- and do try and restrain myself and conform from time to time- but I am really glad you get me- also very glad I was pointed to this website and to all my new found writing friends!...I really do appreciate it a lot- also I gotta say I got a chuckle about you reading aloud what I wrote and your wife came running out to see what was up- that\'s great, thanks for sharing that story!. Regards Mike

                  FEARLESS (a boxer\'s story) from the precipice-I have stood right where-I am feeling fearlessthen I have fallen- still I am the boxer-with cuts to my skingot muscles finally breached-fighting\'s all I have ever knownI am a closer-need one more chance to reclaim-not ready to go yetI am a boxer- just once more-beat that hype-punish-take no prisonerletting each punch-given-take one to the jaw-be ready to leave it\'s markstill I won\'t be denied-I am one and the same; a gladiator-entering the ringI am fearless-peerless-as a diamond- sharp as a blade-just once more or has time taken its toll- have I overstayed my welcome-need one more chancejust let me- crave that respect-I deserve as much- winners don\'t fadeit\'s never too late- with fame delayed-I am ready to climb that laddertouch those heights-feel the heavens- fall down to my knees-I\'ll get back upready to fight- I am fearless- I believe in me- as the applause-rises up- I am calmletting the voices-refresh like holy water, I hear them call me-to soothe like a salvetake my pain away -ready to fight anew- keep me no longer anonymous-shed that lightready to cement my gains-be the greatest- fight for fame- remember my name-glory givenfight for redemption- stake my claim- fighting to stay alive- prove my point-leave no doubt  By Michael Perry

Hi Homesick Alien PoetYour words are brilliant!...your structure is stylized like one of the Beat Poets- that I favor-  Kerouac, Carr, Ginsburg and Burroughs!...I really enjoyed reading this!..and look forward to discovering more of your writing- you already seem to quite the following!..regards Mike

Quite interesting.  To me the form itsself implies a feeding frenzy.  Nicely done.

 Hi Homesick Alien Poet- my words- in their form and structure -compared to a feeding frenzy- That\'s an awesome comment- thank you!...regards Mike

Different is good, its nice to see different styles and patterns. I like this!

Hi Liam Thank you- I agree different is good!...the same would be boring!...regards Mike

very interesting michael..   quite a deep glimpse too...different.. I enjoyed the ride and wording..

Hi Stewart Thanks so much for commenting, I really do appreciate it!  regards Mike

It looks a little different to usual poems, but reads like one.It flows from line to line well.

Hi Cheeky Thanks for commenting- I write in different styles, structures, interpretations- when I pick a subject- I write about it- and that\'s how it comes out-thanks for getting it!..regards Mike

This reads like a story in poetic form to me.

It comes across well, certainly interesting. I\'m slightly curious about the structure - I\'ll probably sound ignorant perhaps, though I\'m wondering if this is a certain style?

I like the ending the most, nice Mike.

Keep \'em coming!

Hi Joey Thanks for commenting- I really appreciate it!..it\'s not any particular style- though thanks for appreciating it for what it is- For each piece that I write for- I try to convey a mood- a feeling- or an interpretation of a point I am trying to make- in that end- I was trying to convey what it\'s like for a seagull- or flock of them- in this write- and what it must feel like to compete for a single morsel of food- thanks for getting it.  regards Mike 

                            TAKE IT ON THE WINGgulls who will fly in full circle-stealthy overhead-they-in their frantic pursuitsearch-for-that-purlescent flesh- of a coveted shell fish-laid bare-abandonedalong the beach using persistence-within a razored beak-one who-spills overin the flesh- taken out -leaving the rest- to caw mockingly-restless-with their insultcoming in free flow-an echoed shrill-like or not -comes fallout-will it continue-have onewho stuns daring-ly-make others flee- break free-empty handed-birds please take noteor be kept at bay-in their futile attempt-they try or not-so keep up maybe fail- once twicenor wrest it away- from the intruder who amongst them-is letting storm clouds stalkgathered up-to circle above-ready to dive -n-dart-lose touch-in their confusion is this an afront-which comes through-or wishful thinking-take it on the wing- or be singled outleave it all to temper-in their argument-pitch it-a fevered-fervor-be blinded by-frenzied scenarios over some which surely who continue on-till their lapsed hunger oer will it be prolonged -overcome- seen too late- nor can it wait- on an empty stomach-if once morewith another try-delayed-can\'t stay-a wakeup call- for the weak-n-wearied-they who still continue on-undetered in this food fight-unfairly kept by- a miscellaneous-scattering offlocks-left in frustration let them break air-take it on the wing-to simply find some foodby Michael Perry

Hi dragonwyst Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and dramatic poem- your words resonate with power and grace!. I really enjoyed reading it!...regards Mike

Hi StewartYour words are visually stunning and dramatic!...and they give us food for thought! I look forward to reading more!...regards Mike

Hi Joey Really nice write- with great images and nice word flow!..you wrote this at 18?...impressive!...thanks for sharing!...regards Mike