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avatar_Chris

I Am

Started by Chris, October 05, 2015, 02:00:46 AM

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avatar_Chris

Chris

\"I Am\"

I dread the moment where I forget,
all the days that passed me behind.
And how I try to stumble,
through cohesion, I try.
Darkened mist blackens my mind,
and how I try, through emerald skies.
I close eyes shut & long for you,
It's too hard to dwell, I adjure.
I wish I could explain myself,
though I can't no more.
My memories escape,
It's who I am.
I accept my fate, I try,
I am.

L

liam

I think this is something Joey, especially the ending.

avatar_cheeky~k8

cheeky~k8

It tells a story of someone thinking they are abit lost in life.Its good.

avatar_FrostyKitten

FrostyKitten

I feel like this poem ends on a positive note which makes me enjoy it more. Kind of like the idea that even when bad stuff happens, there\'s always a silver lining. 
Stay frosty!
Love,
ILY the Frosty Kitten
https://instagram.com/frostykitten/

avatar_Chris

Chris

Thanks for the responses, it\'s good to be writing more.

Appreciate the support greatly.

M

mperry

Hi Joey This is spot on!..awesome write.  Short, filled with detail-to the point- and so expressive- really good!..thanks for sharing!..regards Mike

avatar_Call me Cordelia

Call me Cordelia

I really like this; really, really like this!First, it made me look up \"adjure\" and second, the emotions evoked by the words are powerful, and third, I really liked the shape of the poem.The only thing that slowed my roll was:
I wish I could explain myself,
though I can't no more.[/quote]I think it might be stronger if you kept the grammatical formality as the rest of the poem:
I wish I could explain myself,
but I can\'t anymore (or \"but I cannot anymore\" or \"but I just can\'t anymore\")[/quote]
I am a high school teacher, avid reader, and life-long writer.
my blog

avatar_stewart alexander

stewart alexander

wow bud.. that\'s pretty personal I feel...  great stuff...and very rich in emotion
My Website
To suckle life ..
To enjoy the nectar and glory ..
Of circling your demons ..
With glaciers forming every story ..

avatar_SpaceMonkey

SpaceMonkey

Well done.  I think this is my favorite poem of your\'s so far.  I really really love this.  It\'s very eloquent and soft spoken to me, yet carries a powerful idea. pleasekeepwriting