The Cabin => Poetry => Topic started by: HomesickAlienPoet on
Title: Let Boulders be Bygones
Post by: HomesickAlienPoet on
Shoestrings and sails led us to separate shores Eldorado & Babylon the mighty and small stand statuesque or fall cupp\'d in the palm of Time\'s calloused clinching/unclinching hand a rhythmic reflex to rise up & crush the systemic epidemic dream that is existence.
I\'m too tired to move mountains when monumental efforts barely move dumb lips, trained only to feast fearfully, never giving back except when gorged to point of vomiting. Its easier, more remote reliable to pushapen trap thoughts on paper spray-paint a grateful wall leave graffiti on skin trap insight in a bottle.
Save me Sisyphus from monotonous endeavor. Let me be not much moved by my own cleverness.
Title: Let Boulders be Bygones
Post by: Chris on
There\'s a nice blend with your chosen words here, which certainly makes it stand out.
The story within this piece develops nicely, it\'s almost woven as you read it and the final part is really a joy to read. \"Save me sisyphus, from monotonous, endeavor\". Exactly what I am referring too.
Great stuff, keep \'em coming!
Title: Let Boulders be Bygones
Post by: liam on
I think the start is strong, that is my favourite part about this poem.
Shoestrings and sails led us to separate shores Eldorado & Babylon the mighty and small stand statuesque or fall cupp\'d in the palm of Time\'s calloused clinching/unclinching hand[/quote]This is very well written. Thumbs up!
Title: Let Boulders be Bygones
Post by: Joe Jones on
I love this. Such a fine, flowing read. The words glide effortlessly off the screen. And I love the subject matter as well. The mundanity of life, of existence. It\'s incredibly deep - well done!
Title: Let Boulders be Bygones
Post by: FrostyKitten on
Love this poem! I really like how you introduced a lot of references to Greek mythology and such because it brings another level of depth to it.I also like the play on words you got going on such as\"I\'m too tired to move mountains when monumental efforts barely move dumb lips\"Definitely looking forward to reading more of your work Now excuse me while i reread this to find \"hidden meanings\" that aren\'t really there, but are always fun to \"find.\"
Title: Let Boulders be Bygones
Post by: SpaceMonkey on
Nice commentary on society, I hate going to work too Don\'t really know what else to say about this, it was in and out of my mind all day since I read it the first time.
Title: Let Boulders be Bygones
Post by: dragonwyst on