A
pantoum is a form of poetry derived from a Malay verse form the
pantun berkait Wikipedia says: \"
The pantoum is a form of poetry similar to a villanelle in that there are repeating lines throughout the poem. It is composed of a series of quatrains; the second and fourth lines of each stanza are repeated as the first and third lines of the next. This pattern continues for any number of stanzas, except for the final stanza, which differs in the repeating pattern. The first and third lines of the last stanza are the second and fourth of the penultimate; the first line of the poem is the last line of the final stanza, and the third line of the first stanza is the second of the final. Ideally, the meaning of lines shifts when they are repeated although the words remain exactly the same: this can be done by shifting punctuation, punning, or simply recontextualizing.\"
This was my second attempt at a pantoum as my first one is lost to Time and Space. A very dear friend recently suggested that I try writing with a bit more structure in order to improve the quality of my free verse which is I think what I naturally tend to write. This is my first foray in that direction. I chose to do a pantoum because I like exploring themes that have duality in them and this seemed a perfect vehicle for that. I hope you all enjoy it. \"Shadows\"Shadows creep slowly down the stairs They mimic the way she glides Making a mockery of her gentle grace If only to spite her face They mimic the way she glides Trapped in parody, foreverIf only to spite her faceA dance of deadly grace Trapped in parody, foreverA weeping whispers cello glideA dance of deadly graceI shutter from place to place A weeping whispers mellow guideA silent witness to her fatethat shutters from place to placeFor I can only wear one face A silent witness to her fateMaking mockery of her gentle graceFor I can only wear one faceMy shadow creeps slowly down the stairs\\By: Jerry Munkelwitz(don\'t steal this its copyrighted)
Different poetry forms is something I plan to adventure myself, yet I do have admit I am not familiar with many (as a way of working) but I have read many forms and I won\'t be tempted to steal it myself, so it is safe. A weeping whispers mellow guide
A silent witness to her fate
that shutters from place to place
For I can only wear one face[/quote]I have underlined the words which add power in my opinion and make this section stand out the most.
Keep \'em coming!
PS. In fact...
Weeping whispers,
Silent witness to her fate,
Shutters,
For I can only wear one face.
Sounds brilliant!
I like the way it reads and flows. The way you\'ve repeated certain parts again makes it interesting.
Quote from: joey_matthews\" data-ipsquote-contenttype=\"forums\" data-ipsquote-contentclass=\"forums_Topic\" data-ipsquote-contentid=\"100\" data-ipsquote-contentcommentid=\"602 date=1443741673
Haha I am not worried about thievery. That thing in quotations is just a joke. I know that whatever I post is automatically copyrighted and I need do nothing about it. If someone were to actually steal something of mine then they get to live with that.
SpaceMonkey, this is an exceptional pantoum and I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a successful one. Its one of the most difficult and restricting forms to work with. Somewhere I have one lying around that I wrote for a poetry class called \"The Shitstall Poet.\" Perhaps I will post it for a laugh if I find it. This though, this is a trully great pantoum. Bravo!
Thank you HAP. I am still messing with the words at the end. I am not sure I want it to rhyme and I feel like using the same end rhyme on multiple lines is a bit TOO repetitive. When I revise this I am either converting it to a much less rigid end rhyme scheme with more slant rhymes or no rhymes whatsoever or I am going to change one of the \"grace\" rhymes to something else.I posted it after just one revision so I don\'t feel like it is where it needs to be yet, but it is close. I am glad you enjoyed it.I would LOVE to read your pantoum I am actually writing another one right now, it was fun LOL.
Hi SpaceMonkey I have learned something new; pantoum!...thank you for sharing- I loved reading it- especially the visuals- that your words conjured up!..regards Mike
A colleague of mine has been having her classes do pantoums for years. I like this one immensely! The only distracting wording were \"a weeping whispers cello glide\" and \"a weeping whispers mellow guide.\" I thought perhaps it should just be \"whisper?\"
I cant say I understand the style of poem but I do like it, i think its very well written.