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avatar_SpaceMonkey

Love(pt 1)

Started by SpaceMonkey, October 19, 2015, 07:39:17 PM

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avatar_SpaceMonkey

SpaceMonkey

 \"Love\"It cleanses with a scathing brillianceNo fault can hideA light that illuminates with itsFeverish regardThe darkness that is everywhereEveryone It does nothing to stem the tideThat crashes with a shivering graspLeaving shadows on all sidesBlind and bound A hostage to The future   

avatar_Call me Cordelia

Call me Cordelia

I like the shape of this poem. I enjoyed the words, but my personal preference is not to capitalize the first word of each line. What changing about (in the 2nd stanza) \"That crashes with a shivering grasp\" to \"That crashes from a shivering grasp\" ?What do you mean by Pt 2? Is there a second half or does this just mean there will be a draft 2?
I am a high school teacher, avid reader, and life-long writer.
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avatar_SpaceMonkey

SpaceMonkey

I meant part one as in a series of poems about love.  I have nine so far but some of them are better than others.  Each one explores a different facet of love.  This one is one of my favorites so I decided to share it.    Eventually I envision it as one long poem with several separate parts, right now I\'m just building them.

M

mperry

Hi Space MonkeyThank you for sharing such a beautiful poem- every one writes about love- but not many can communicate or take it to the next step-yours, is an in-depth exploration- the concept of love and what it means!...to be- to feel it- one to one- bring it to fruition-begin to end- an awesome write!...thanks for sharing!...regards Mike 

avatar_stewart alexander

stewart alexander

this is fab.. great last two lines  
My Website
To suckle life ..
To enjoy the nectar and glory ..
Of circling your demons ..
With glaciers forming every story ..

avatar_cheeky~k8

cheeky~k8

This is a good flowing poemmy favourite part is;A light that illuminates with itsFeverish regardThe darkness that is everywhere

avatar_Chris

Chris

\'Leaving shadows on all sides\'

Is a powerful li
ne, one which really makes this the whole poem stand out. It\'s not your typical poem about love, I find this to be much more than that - in fact, if you changed some lines it could be about more than just that.

Great stuff! Keep \'em coming.