Title: The Butterfly
Post by: Chris on
Post by: Chris on
This poem was written back in 2005, at the time I was eighteen. Inspired by real life, love and passion that /profile/2-cheeky~k8/\" data-ipshover=\"\" data-ipshover-target=\"http://poetryartonline.com/profile/2-cheeky~k8/?do=hovercard\" data-mentionid=\"2\">@cheeky~k8 has for butterflies.
Surrounded by trees,
Water and her.
I see a deeper paradise,
That only the butterfly can.
Freedom in movement,
She follows you around.
It\'s amazing to see,
How you stop,
When she holds out her hand.
Softly, you settle down,
Fluttering your shiny,
Blue wings.
I picture this moment,
Hoping I\'ll recall it forever.
She looked so happy,
So peaceful.
Then it ended,
So quick.
The butterfly flew,
As she looked on.
It felt like time had stopped,
When she set out.
To chase the,
Blue butterfly.
Surrounded by trees,
Water and her.
I see a deeper paradise,
That only the butterfly can.
Freedom in movement,
She follows you around.
It\'s amazing to see,
How you stop,
When she holds out her hand.
Softly, you settle down,
Fluttering your shiny,
Blue wings.
I picture this moment,
Hoping I\'ll recall it forever.
She looked so happy,
So peaceful.
Then it ended,
So quick.
The butterfly flew,
As she looked on.
It felt like time had stopped,
When she set out.
To chase the,
Blue butterfly.
Title: The Butterfly
Post by: liam on
Post by: liam on
I like this! The way it tells the story is very fluid. Great job!
Title: The Butterfly
Post by: FrostyKitten on
Post by: FrostyKitten on
It\'s definitely a romantic poem! I like the image you paint in my head Sometimes the rhythm is a bit off, but overall it\'s a nice poem that makes me think of a sunny summer day. Sigh, I\'m gonna miss summer!
Title: The Butterfly
Post by: cheeky~k8 on
Post by: cheeky~k8 on
Its a nice poem. It makes me think back to going around the butterfly area of the seal sanctuary in Skegness, there wasn\'t many blue butterflies there when we went years ago. Lovely poem.
Title: The Butterfly
Post by: Chris on
Post by: Chris on
[quote author=cheeky~k8\" data-ipsquote-contenttype=\"forums\" data-ipsquote-contentclass=\"forums_Topic\" data-ipsquote-contentid=\"66\" data-ipsquote-contentcommentid=\"399\">Its a nice poem. It makes me think back to going around the butterfly area of the seal sanctuary in Skegness, there wasn\'t many blue butterflies there when we went years ago. Lovely poem.[/quote]You don\'t recall the time the Butterfly landed on your hand when you held it out in my parents back garden?
That Butterfly seemed very peaceful, especially as it\'s rare to see them glide so gracefully and remain settled for more than a few seconds. I recall this moment because it was one of the happier memories from that point in our lives.![](\"<fileStore.core_Emoticons)
/emoticons/smile.png\" alt=\":)\" title=\":) date=1442998149]
Thanks for the comments and feedback everyone.
That Butterfly seemed very peaceful, especially as it\'s rare to see them glide so gracefully and remain settled for more than a few seconds. I recall this moment because it was one of the happier memories from that point in our lives.
Thanks for the comments and feedback everyone.
Title: The Butterfly
Post by: stewart alexander on
Post by: stewart alexander on
that\'s really sweet buddy love it!
Title: The Butterfly
Post by: mperry on
Post by: mperry on
Hi Joey Really nice write- with great images and nice word flow!..you wrote this at 18?...impressive!...thanks for sharing!...regards Mike
Title: The Butterfly
Post by: SpaceMonkey on
Post by: SpaceMonkey on
I liked this poem a lot. I have read it more than a few times since you posted it. It feels like a perfect snapshot, one you describe very well. I feel like this is a fuzzy memory I have of my own. I also think that if you were willing to submit this poem to an editing process, you could end up with a VERY respectable poem. It\'s good now, but the potential for greatness is there as well. You sir, should write more poetry.
Title: The Butterfly
Post by: Chris on
Post by: Chris on
/profile/9-spacemonkey/\" data-ipshover=\"\" data-ipshover-target=\"http://poetryartonline.com/profile/9-spacemonkey/?do=hovercard\" data-mentionid=\"9\">@SpaceMonkey - Polishing my writing is something I struggle with, yet I will be taking my writing far more seriously and so you can expect to see more of it posted with in-depth/Re-working section.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to leave me your thoughts, it is appreciated.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to leave me your thoughts, it is appreciated.
Title: The Butterfly
Post by: Call me Cordelia on
Post by: Call me Cordelia on
This is lovely, Chris! It\'s been a joy watching you grow as a poet!
Title: The Butterfly
Post by: SpaceMonkey on
Post by: SpaceMonkey on
Quote from: Call me Cordelia\" data-ipsquote-contenttype=\"forums\" data-ipsquote-contentclass=\"forums_Topic\" data-ipsquote-contentid=\"66\" data-ipsquote-contentcommentid=\"662 date=1443830989This is lovely, Chris! It\'s been a joy watching you grow as a poet!What she said. You really have come a long way man.