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Topics - Joe Jones

Photography / Bulgaria
December 28, 2015, 07:04:33 PM
So I travelled to Bulgaria in the summer with some friends, to a location called Slanchev Bryag (also known as Sunny Beach). Here is the cultural bit of the holiday (half a day out of 7), spent just across the sea in the town of Nesebar.
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Fiction / Invasion
December 28, 2015, 06:53:13 PM
I have to get out of here. 
I keep hearing footsteps. Crunch, crunch, crunch, pressing down into the snow. They're coming for me.
Dead. All my loved ones are dead. They turned. They were no longer my father, my mother, my brother. I had no choice.
I noticed their behaviour changing. They kept telling me I was insane. They shouted at me. "You're obsessed! They don't exist! It's all in your head!"
But I knew. I knew they were victims to the plague. Slow release at first. They weren't aware of it. But their minds were oblivious to what was about to unfold.
"Take your meds," they would say. Can you believe it? Trying to claim that I was going mad? No way. I'm the only sane man here. I know what's happening.
Dread filled me. It began with the brain. Panic set in. Tightness clenched my chest. I couldn't breathe. I stumbled, fell head first into something. Blackness.
Then it happened.
She was on top of me. Eyes vacant. She wanted to consume me. She had turned and I was about to be turned too.
I screamed. Piercing. Terror burst out in sound form. I punched her in the side of the head. Leapt up. She was dazed. I knew I didn't have time.
I picked up the paperweight from my desk. Smashed it between her eyes. That's where the virus lies.
Bam. Bam. Bam. I hammered down with all my might. She was split open, blood pouring from her head. I screamed again. What if it infected me?
God bless America, eh? The Second Amendment. \"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.\" 
Well, the State was not free at that precise moment. They were coming. I've read all the books. They are slate erasers. They will not only destroy the State, they will destroy civilisation. They will destroy humanity.
She was screaming. He was coming up the stairs. They can run now. I've seen those films. I've read that book. They are merciless killing machines.
I ran into their bedroom. At least, the bedroom that belonged to them before they turned. The TEC-9 under the pillow. At least they cannot use firearms. As far as I know.
I turned to what used to be my father. I destroyed the monster that he became. A bullet, right into his forehead. I got him. Brain matter exploded in every direction. More contamination. 
He fell backwards into the mirror. Glass shattered, flew everywhere. Like we need more bad luck.
I looked down at my former mother. She was still moving. She could grab hold of my leg and sink her rotten, diseased teeth into it, and then I would be one of them too.
I had to be merciless. Only by destroying the brain could I be safe. I pumped four bullets into her head. I had to be sure.
Then the footsteps. The shouting. Could it have been coherent speech? My brain was so hyped up, I could barely understand. This was fight or flight. I was not going to become one of them.
I rushed down the stairs. I looked over. Oh no, not you too. My little brother. This is so unfair. Damn this plague to hell. 
Tears flooded out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I couldn't bring myself to do it. But then he screamed something. He's not human... HE'S NOT HUMAN!
I slumped to the floor, TEC-9 smoking. I cried so violently I was physically sick. Howls, screams, sobs intertwined. He had died long before I shot him.
The footsteps then stopped. But then so did my heart. Knocking on the door. Could they knock? But then it became banging. More were coming. Clearly alerted to the noise. The virus sharpens their senses so much it's unreal.
This was my last stand. I was not going to go down without a fight. I stood there waiting. Breath heavy. Come on, you braindead scum. I'm ready for you.
The door eventually caved in. I screamed a blood-curdling scream of war. I pointed the gun towards the figure.
No bullets left.
In that moment I knew I was finished.
Hold on... how did I fire my gun if I was out of bullets? Did it jam for a second? Did I even attempt to fire again?
I looked down. And that's when I saw it. Blood pouring from my chest. 
They know how to fire guns now? This cannot be... nowhere did it say they could do that. We're doomed.
I felt an indescribable pain, and then I felt queasy, woozy. I dropped to my knees and onto the floor.
I really do not know what just happened. But I do know that I'm dying. I'm just glad to have been spared the damnation of becoming one of them. I'll die a clean, uninfected death.
A human. A policeman. Oh, I could not have asked for a better way to go. Maybe he thought I was one of them too? At least it's a human face. 
Thank you, God.
Big day, is October 25th. Not only is it the birthday of arguably the most famous artist of modern times, Pablo Picasso, but it\'s also International Artist Day! /home/news/international-artists-day-celebrated-on-picasso%E2%80%99s-134th-birthday-r24/\">Here is the article.Talk to us about your thoughts on Picasso, on how much you rate him, your favourite pieces from him and so on.Also tell us about what you plan to do for International Artist Day - will you be investing in local art, producing something of your own, visiting an art gallery or something else?Let Poetry & Art! Online know!
Banksy\'s Dismaland, the theme park satirising Disneyland, is now providing shelter to refugees in its new home in Calais.The park was dismantled and shipped from Weston-super-Mare across the Channel to its new home in The Jungle, the camp where thousands are living as they try to enter the UK.The park\'s version of the iconic Disney castle now stands over the camp where thousands living in makeshift tents, many having fled war-torn countries like Syria.What do you make of this? A kind-hearted gesture or a shallow opportunistic PR exercise? Let P&A! know!/home/news/banksys-dismaland-used-to-house-refugees-in-calais-r23/\">View the full article here.
Artist Ai Weiwei has accused Lego of \"censorship and discrimination\" after the company refused to let him to use its bricks in a new exhibition.

Lego refused a bulk order for bricks that were to be used in a new artwork about political dissidents as part of an exhibition in Melbourne, Australia.

Toymaker Lego said it never sold directly to anyone wanting to use its product to make a political statement.Do you think Lego are right to refuse Ai sale, or will this turn out to be a bad move for them? Could they change their mind?/home/news/ai-weiwei-refused-bulk-order-of-lego-for-new-exhibition-r22/\">More on the article here.
National Geographic is known across the world as a source of some of the greatest natural photos out there, so I just fancied posting some of September\'s best Photos of the Day. Some absolutely gorgeous shots in here...\"red-fox-estonia-850x566.jpg\"http://proof.nationalgeographic.com/files/2015/10/red-fox-estonia-850x566.jpg\"> \"prod-yourshot-321431-6564657.jpg\"http://proof.nationalgeographic.com/files/2015/10/prod-yourshot-321431-6564657.jpg\"> \"polar-bear-beechey-island.jpg\"http://proof.nationalgeographic.com/files/2015/10/polar-bear-beechey-island.jpg\">For more photos, here is the website link:http://proof.nationalgeographic.com/2015/10/02/photo-of-the-day-best-of-september/?\">http://proof.nationalgeographic.com/2015/10/02/photo-of-the-day-best-of-september/?
The London Tattoo Convention 2015 returned for its 11th installment this year and featured more than 400 of the world's best tattoo artists.When it first launched more than a decade ago, the three-day fair attracted about 3,500 visitors. Now, the number exceeds 20,000.The convention took place in a massive 26 halls at the Tobacco Dock in Wapping between the 25th and 27th September, and also featured live music and tattoo competitions.Were you at the London Tattoo Convention? Do you have any tattoos you would like to discuss or show off? Let Poetry & Art! know!
People around the world have observed a rare celestial event, as a lunar eclipse coincided with a so-called \"supermoon\".A supermoon occurs when the Moon is in the closest part of its orbit to Earth, meaning it appears larger in the sky.The eclipse – which made the Moon appear red – has been visible in North America, South America, West Africa and Western Europe.This phenomenon was last observed in 1982 and will not be back before 2033 - which meant plenty of people took to their cameras and began snapping away at the sky.Did you take any photos of the supermoon? Are you into your astronomical photography, artwork and fiction? Let Poetry & Art! know!
Children\'s author and Little Britain comedian David Walliams joined forces with Education Secretary Nicky Morgan to try to make English pupils the most literate in Europe within the next five years.They visited a London primary school on Thursday to urge all those involved in education, including parents, to encourage children to read more.David said: \"Books can change the way you think and feel about something. As long as [children] are reading and enjoying books, because it's going to help them so much in later life if they have a good level of literacy.\"What do you make of this campaign? Have you read any of David\'s books? Let P&A! know!
Fiction / DOM moves into low-cost airlines
September 24, 2015, 12:58:37 PM
Hello loyal followers!We at the DOM are introducing a low cost airline services for you, the general public (it\'s also funded by you, but the profits go to us)!DOM Airlines will be running a highly unsatisfactory service, with flights usually being cancelled due to lack of pilots/planes. Our safety record is second to none, with an impressive 5% of our aircraft going on to reach their destination with minimal casualties!We have three classes:1st Class: This is luxury, for the high flyers only. In first class you get a seat, which consists of a large wooden box saying \"dangerous explosives\" or \"live munitions\". Upgrade and get a window seat next to a small Perspex window that is held in with chewing gum and may or may not fall out at 30,000 feet. You also get a meal, made up of army rations from 1956 that have been exposed to nuclear testing. Toilet facilities included (a bucket).2nd Class: Seats on 2nd class are limited and aren\'t as comfy as 1st class. If you get a seat, you\'ll be sat on a large metal drum saying \"hazardous nuclear waste\" or \"warning biological weaponry\". In 2nd class you don\'t get a window seat, meal or toilet facilities. Furthermore, expect to be crammed in with 4,000 other people all sitting on the floor.3rd Class: In 3rd class you\'re not in the plane at all. You get the thrill of hanging onto a piece of rope attached to the wings like a Russian paratrooper. If you bring your own parachute, it\'s sometimes the safest place to be.Prices start at £30 for 1st Class, £15 for 2nd Class and £10 for 3rd Class. How do we keep our prices so low? Well, we agree to ship dodgy or hazardous goods to shifty African dictators, terrorist factions and others who pay us the right price!We have the best untrained pilots that money can buy. Our fleet of pilots consists of people we rounded up at a bus station and homeless that we pay in intoxicants, most of which they use while flying.So why not fly DOM Airlines today? Remember – at DOM Airlines, your safety is none of our concern.(Warning: DOM Airlines has a 95% unsuccessful flight record. We will ask all passengers to sign a disclaimer saying they will not sue in the event of their survival. We advise passengers to make out a will before flying with DOM Airlines. DOM Airlines only flies to remote, diplomatically unrecognised African territories, Somalia, Afghanistan, Iraq, remote islands in the Pacific Ocean, North Korea and East Midlands Airport. DOM Airlines holds the right to redirect the destination of its aircraft without prior notice to passengers. Upon arrival passengers may be sold into slavery and personal belongings not returned.)
McDonald's will be handing out 14 million Roald Dahl books with Happy Meals.As part of a literacy drive between the fast food chain and the late author's estate, eight different titles will be included as gifts over the next six weeks.Books included in the scheme include the likes of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Fantastic Mr Fox, while the 'Magical Mischief' title will offer extracts from George's Marvellous Medicine and Matilda.What do you make of this project?
Entertainment & News / Banksy
September 22, 2015, 10:59:14 AM
Banksy is a name that splits opinion among the art world - is he a maverick who\'s breaking boundaries and opening mankind\'s eyes to the injustices of the world, or just an opportunistic vandal cashing in on the \"anti-establishment\" market favoured by students and hipsters?Love him or hate him, the Bristolian is a success, having revolutionised the street art genre, and he\'s now even branching out into other art fields, like movie making - not to mention larger and larger projects, namely Dismaland.Here are the latest updates on Banksy - and let\'s find out what you think of him.
Entertainment & News / Modern Life
September 20, 2015, 10:43:02 AM
I\'m very much into my anti-establishment art and fiction, and I spotted this today - hard-hitting, cynical, but pretty much spot on.http://www.trueactivist.com/this-artwork-is-probably-the-most-accurate-and-scary-portrayal-of-modern-life-weve-ever-seen/\" rel=\"external nofollow\">http://www.trueactivist.com/this-artwork-is-probably-the-most-accurate-and-scary-portrayal-of-modern-life-weve-ever-seen/
Entertainment & News / Ai Weiwei
September 17, 2015, 05:48:40 PM
Ai Weiwei\'s retrospective is set to open this week at the London Royal Academy of Art, with reviewers already describing it as one of the best exhibitions in years.It\'s one of the most important exhibitions of the renowned Chinese artist's work for a long time, not least because it has coincided with the unexpected return of the artist's passport by Chinese authorities after four years, enabling him to travel to London for the opening and even assist with the final preparation of the exhibition.What do you make of Ai\'s work, and his status as persona non grata among the Chinese authorities?
Fiction / Lovers on the Bridge
September 17, 2015, 04:47:52 PM
I can't cope any longer. From the moment I first wake up to my last conscious thoughts before I drop off into the dark, placid abyss of sleep, you are there. As hard as I tried, and continue trying, I cannot dislodge your presence, your voice, your soft, confident, sultry tone of voice, and your eyes, your deep, sparkling, beautiful blue eyes, from my tired old brain. I am sick of feeling like this – do you even know if I still exist? You could have forgotten all about me, you could be getting on with your life, maybe you've met someone and got married. Maybe you were already married. But my life is not the same without you. My life is not complete without you. My life is worthless without you.You used to pass me by every day on the way to work. You know, on the bridge. I remember how at first, you used to look down. Try to put on a stoic face. I smiled at you. I tried to make eye contact. From the moment our paths first crossed, I knew you were it. You were the one for me. I was the one for you. Soulmates. People always talk about soulmates. Usually people who rack up three or four of them as they exchange their vows time and time again at the altar. I didn't think there could be such a thing either. Partners have come and gone from my life, who claimed they loved me, and I thought I loved them. But the feeling wasn't there. You know, that feeling, when you just know. I had that with you. You were the one for me. You are the one for me. I knew you were just shy at first. Why else would you be looking down? But before long, you looked at me. You gazed deep into my eyes. You said hello. Oh, if only you knew how happy had you made me. Inside I was dancing and screaming at the top of my voice – you saw it too! I knew that was it. Every day, we had our little moment, where everything was just perfect. Your eyes gazing into mine. Your wry little smile. "Hello," you would say. And then it was me who looked down, said "hi" back. Even back then I struggled to cope, but in a good way. A beautiful, fulfilling way. It was an overwhelming feeling of joy that you would bring to me once a day, sometimes even twice if you finished early.And then, one day, you were just gone. That's it. You had gone away previously, for a week, sometimes two, and my heart would sink, but then there you were again, walking towards me, with your smile – what I would have given for you to just put your arms around me, look into my eyes, and put your lips on mine. You walked right past me. I knew this was the arrangement we had. You were my lover on the bridge. Well, my walk-on-by lover. My snapshot lover. But this was more than enough for me. The love was there. Just knowing that you were there again, the deep despair I had experienced the previous weeks just vanished into a puff of thin air, replaced by joy and delight. My life was complete when we shared those moments on the bridge. It's been a year now. One whole year. I've been signed off work because I could no longer cross that godforsaken bridge without remembering you and the moments we shared. It's driven me insane. I'm so hollow. There is a void in there that I cannot fill. And believe me, I have tried. I have tried drowning my sorrows, I have tried smoking out my sorrows, I have even tried... no, I cannot say it. The thought of me cheating on you breaks my heart. What if you are reading this? I could lose you if you knew just what I've tried to do in a bid to block out the emptiness... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you.I still long, dream, hope, and pray for you to pass by again. I've even been worrying that you'd be back and that, by me being off work, would be missing you. I could not forgive myself for that. But it's been a year that I haven't seen your face. Your eyes. Heard your voice. And felt that spark, that connection, that perfect moment of love that your presence brought to my mundane, empty, pathetic excuse of a life.Where are you? I miss you. Please come back.
General Art / Charlie Hebdo
September 16, 2015, 11:27:04 PM
My defiant tribute to the tragedy that took place at the start of the year...
Plans to close Eastwood's DH Lawrence Heritage Centre to save cash have been revealed – a move branded "disastrous" by supporters of the building.A report by Broxtowe Borough Council, which looks after Eastwood, has recommended shutting the building – which houses, among other things, an exhibition on the town during the time the author lived there – to save money.Malcolm Gray, chairman of the DH Lawrence Society, told local media: "It would be a tragedy if it was lost and a tragedy for the town if another link with Lawrence was gone."What do you make of this news? Are you familiar with DH Lawrence\'s work and his Nottinghamshire heritage?/home/news/dh-lawrence-heritage-centre-faces-closure-r2/\">Link to article here.
Fiction / The Most Dangerous Drug In The World
September 16, 2015, 09:19:14 PM
Attention people!

We at the Department of Misinformation need to make you aware of a vile, disgusting, monstrous scourge which has been unleashed on our clean, unspoilt society. That includes your children! A drug of unparalleled evil which has claimed the minds of thousands and disrupted the lives of millions! This drug is called KNOWLEDGE, although it goes by many names depending on the type and purity, including INTELLIGENCE, RATIONALITY, REASON and INTELLECTUALISM.

The effects:

- KNOWLEDGE makes people claim they \"know\" more about things.
- KNOWLEDGE makes people feel in tune with their surroundings – sounds and colours are more intense. People claim to have a \"more open mind\".
- KNOWLEDGE makes people euphoric, chatty and willing to pass on their \"information\" to other people, sometimes against their will.

The risks:

- KNOWLEDGE is incredibly addictive - a furtive interest in KNOWLEDGE is all it takes to get completely and utterly hooked, because once you absorb a single dose of KNOWLEDGE, then you cannot stop - you want more and more and more, and before long it consumes your whole life!

- KNOWLEDGE may be exhilarating at times if the dose administered is positive and leads to a good trip, but nearly all KNOWLEDGE in the world is negative, which will often lead to a bad trip. People have exhibited feelings of hopelessness, despair and futility, thinking that the world is a bad place to live and that nothing will ever change.

- Attempting to get through a particularly heavy source of KNOWLEDGE (for example, the particularly cumbersome strain known as \"quantum physics\") may lead to KNOWLEDGE overdose, leading to feelings of inadequacy and failure.

- KNOWLEDGE addicts may experience animosity, paranoia, hatred and develop a bizarre schizophrenia-like disease where they constantly have a strange irrational desire to \"stick it to the man\".

- If many KNOWLEDGE users exhibiting the above symptoms gather together, this can have catastrophic consequences, leading to unrest, violence and even DEATH as they try and achieve a twisted apocalyptic nirvana known as a \"revolution\".

Oh no! Sounds terrible! What steps can I take to avoid this wretched poison?

Fear not, comrade! We at the DOM have compiled a short guide on how to protect yourself from KNOWLEDGE:

- Stay away from the following items and EVERYTHING containing the following words, for they contain toxic amounts of KNOWLEDGE:  Books, documentaries, \"paedia\" (it\'s a lot like \"paedo\" which is also bad!), \"science\", \"economics\", \"philosophy\" and \"freedom\".

- Stay away from the following establishments, for they deal and push KNOWLEDGE: \"Library\", \"Bookshop\", \"University\" (with the exception of the safe DOM University), anything with \"Biblio\" as part of the word, any newspaper or magazine which looks dull and uninteresting, anything which doesn\'t have the words \"celeb\", \"goss\", \"football\" or \"OMG\" written in giant brightly coloured capital letters on the cover.

- Stay away from ANYONE holding any of the above items, and steer especially clear of anyone wearing glasses (unless they\'re big huge tacky sunglasses) - they contain an intense, evil kind of X-ray known as KNOWLEDGE VISION, which blasts pure people with toxic radioactivity and sees through your child\'s clothes! NASTY! 

I think I\'ve accidentally taken in some KNOWLEDGE! What do I do?

Don\'t worry! Knowing you\'ve made a terrible mistake which you will never make again - for The Leader will not like you if you make it again - is half the battle won! There is an antidote known as IGNORANCE which you can take, and over a period of time, not only will it nullify the KNOWLEDGE, but it will also fill your life with joy and bliss without side effects! It\'s the perfect substance, which is why, like alcohol and nicotine, it is legal and sponsored by your friendly ruler, The Leader!

Where can I get doses of IGNORANCE? Tell me!

It is simple to find, and even more readily available than KNOWLEDGE! IGNORANCE, aka STUPIDITY, MUNDANITY, BULLSHIT, CONFORMISM, CONSUMERISM, FASHION, GOSSIP, CELEBRITY NEWS, FOOTBALL UPDATE, and ENTERTAINMENT, comes in many shapes, strains and sizes and can be administered in the following ways:

- Tabloids
- Reality TV
- Sports channels
- Internet sites with a lot of capital letters, abbrevs and the colour pink
- Youtube user-posted webcam videos
- Any gathering of unnaturally orange people (both staying out in the sun too long and and fake tan are notable side effects of too much IGNORANCE)
- Any television show where young, spoilt, rich people are filmed being as spoilt, eccentric and idiotic as possible

IGNORANCE is a nice, pleasant drug! It conjures up a state of perma-bliss, it makes people passionate and chatty but without the negative side effects of KNOWLEDGE, and furthermore, it makes you feel like you matter and that the focus is always on YOU! 

So there you go people! We hope you will take heed of all the things we\'ve said to you today, and you can go away feeling like you can protect yourself from this deadly drug, and embrace the nice, friendly, fun, effortless alternative! 

Photography / The African Bush *Viewer Discretion Advised*
September 16, 2015, 08:29:57 PM
*WARNING - Photos may be upsetting for some* A few years ago I was in South Africa for a friend\'s wedding and we went on game rides, where we would drive into the bush and observe animals in their natural habitat.Now, as we all know, nature is an unforgiving and unsympathetic place, and the reality of the bush is that animals attack each other in the wild.We witnessed a cheetah in full sprint chasing down and catching a steinbok... 
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