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Messages - SpaceMonkey

#61
In-depth & Re-Working / a sonnet(ish)
September 19, 2015, 02:30:41 AM
[quote author=joey_matthews\" data-ipsquote-contenttype=\"forums\" data-ipsquote-contentclass=\"forums_Topic\" data-ipsquote-contentid=\"34\" data-ipsquote-contentcommentid=\"179\">I\'m not familiar with the style myself, yet it seems fun to try.

 [/quote]This is intended to be a classic shakespearean sonnet which is a strict rhyming scheme and poem structure.  It is Named after Sir William because he wrote A LOT of them.  I think he even is the one who started this style of poem, but I am not sure about that.And it must be metered in Iambic Pentameter  Wikipedia Definition:  Iambic pentameter is a commonly used type of metrical line in traditional English poetry and verse drama. The term describes the rhythm that the words establish in that line, which is measured in small groups of syllables called \"feet\"I think that is why it seems like a soft song.They can be a pain to write, but also lot\'s of fun.Hey good blog post idea \"The How\'s and Why\'s of Shakespearean Sonnets\" The lines should be \"ten feet\" long but some are nine and I think one is eight.  The structure and rhyming is good.  And the meter works, I\'m just not sure if it\'s close enough to actually be a \"shakespearean sonnet\" 
#62
General Art / Ipad doodle
September 19, 2015, 01:27:29 AM
your finger Bart is far better than any medium of Bart I have attempted in my life.I\'m a pro at stick figure Bart though
#63
In-depth & Re-Working / a sonnet(ish)
September 19, 2015, 01:16:42 AM
Im working on the meter for this.  I think I posted this on the old site, but it was long ago can\'t remember.  The couplet at the end and the last stanza are the only lines that exist the same as they did several years ago.  I have since edited the rest.  I actually posted this last night missing a stanza and it had a  with a really rough line(1st stanza line 4) but when I was reposting just now I think it\'s better but the meter still seems off to me. Please if you are familiar with Iambic Pentameter and want to check it for me and comment, awesome.If you are not familiar with it, still feel free to comment on it. \"Serenity\"Serenity is Sun, in the middle of nightThe whisper and sway of crashing wavesBelieving in penguins aching for flight One thrust of her knife, is how she saves Like death between her twilight thighsSerenity is cold December chillMoaning soft and sharp as the blood fliesDrinking until we have been fulfilled Serenity is madness, softly temperedBreaking within, her water releasesA stilling steel, forged and hammeredSlipping between, I am quenched to pieces Reminded of our vow, hand in handSwearing off forever, the chains of man
#64
Entertainment & News / Share a music video topic
September 19, 2015, 12:40:09 AM
This is not my favorite song, but it IS my favorite music video. Everything from kung fu, ninjas, cowboys,robots,unicorns,  even a fat mexican playing a horn instrument
 
#65
Introductions / Introducing...
September 18, 2015, 03:47:18 PM
Awesome to hear of you going to college.  I hope some of those electives are Literature or Writing classes ^^  (meaning as a writer, they are fun to take)Really though, believe it or not, the way you write has had a profound impact on the way I write.  Both in the past and even in this very short time since we all reconnected.  I think it\'s mostly your style, which I admire.  You are one of the few poets I know who can sometimes use words that I have to look up, yet when I do instead of it looking like you are using a ten dollar word when a two dollar one will do, I find that you have seemingly chosen the perfect word and it actually fits perfect.  I guess what I mean is that your work expands my horizons  and I offer you my humble gratitude for that.    I don\'t know how you write the way you do, we all have our own process.  But I\'m a huge fan and happy that we all get to do this again together and meet some new friends along the way on different paths in life, but on the same artistic journey.
#66
General Discussion / Daily Talk; Friday 18th September
September 18, 2015, 01:40:09 PM
Today I have washin the dishes, play with little one, working on mah homework.  and that is just this morning.Busy busy day  
#67
General Discussion / Daily Talk; Thursday 17th September
September 18, 2015, 05:14:47 AM
Long productive day.  Got through the part of my prologue I was stuck on.  Wrote a new poem, reworked an old one.  Took the family out for a nice dinner and we played some games.  Going to sleep now but my brain is still buzzingGood Night P&AO
#68
Photography / Recent holiday snap
September 18, 2015, 05:12:46 AM
It reminds me of a snapshot of childhood, the dawning sun, the amusement park silhouettes.  really a beautiful picture
#69
Poetry / It\'s Better with Distance
September 18, 2015, 05:07:54 AM
A Typo spotted!!! 4th line up from the bottom says \"a time when the could make me tremble\"  should say \"a time when they could make me tremble.It won\'t let me edit it now though grrrr lol
#70
Introductions / My Intro
September 18, 2015, 05:05:56 AM
I am Jerry.  I am also a SpaceMonkey.  I have been writing most of my life.  Mostly poetry and songs.   Right now I am in college classes for writing, not really pursuing a degree just learning how to write novels.  I have had a life long love affair with words. I have a very long list of words I collect that spell different words backwards(a hobby).  I am married with a 3 year old daughter and a son due October 26th.  I am working on my first novel. I was also involved with the old P&A site and missed it terribly.  I am excited to be sharing what I have learned with other writers again and I also love learning new things that I did not know before.  I have a lot of high hopes for this site and look forward for it\'s continued growth.Cheers 
#71
Poetry / It\'s Better with Distance
September 18, 2015, 04:52:37 AM
It\'s better with distance.
When I am running, I am alive.
Although i fight with change, 
I am a child of it.
Struggling with it.
Wrenching free of my parentage.i have emancipated myself from my differences,
yet I am different.
In increments, my astonishment grows,
with meter and form.
Indeed within this stanza, I am alive. 
I have been growing for ages,
unable to be contained.Within the walls of Verse,
words scream to be dismembered.
All the ones who came before me, my elders, 
beg to be recognized and not forgotten.
They beg in vain, for i can not recall
a time when they could make me tremble
the way this does.
They have stolen the very words from my breath
and have left me to drown in all the rest.
#72
Poetry / Let Boulders be Bygones
September 18, 2015, 03:19:31 AM
Nice commentary on society, I hate going to work too Don\'t really know what else to say about this, it was in and out of my mind all day since I read it the first time.  
#73
Fiction / Lovers on the Bridge
September 18, 2015, 03:14:26 AM
It reads like a letter to me, or an ad in the paper looking for someone.  Maybe a blog post.  It\'s good prose, there are a few run on sentences but good grammar over all.I think you did a great job of conveying someone pouring their heart out on paper, but I wonder where else you would go with it after this part  or is this stand alone?I also looked after noticing that you wrote this in first person if you would stick with that and you did, good job staying in first person for the whole piece.  You also did a good job in speaking in past tense the whole time right until the end when you said \"Where are you? I miss you, please come back\" which is also good job  and a great way to end in present tense.  I feel reading it the whole time that I was trying to catch up to the present and you did well to bring it up to the present and then leave us there at the end.
#74
General Discussion / Daily Talk; Thursday 17th September
September 17, 2015, 06:50:26 PM
I am doing my weekly lecture for the Intro to sci-fi/fantasy writing class I am taking, cruising this site during breaks(lots of activity already here, and awesome), taking notes for class, thinking about my story.  My daughter is at pre school right now going to pick her up soon.  I am also thinking about what my first blog post is going to be.  and writing that challenge poem later tonight.Hope everyone is safe and well today.
#75
General Art / Dreams of the White Dragon
September 17, 2015, 06:21:52 PM
I love these and I don\'t know why.  I have no idea how you did it.  The white dragon one especially.  I just find myself staring at it for long periods of time.  I think part of it is that Red and White and Black are three of my favorite colors, especially all together.Thank you for sharing this, I am excited to see more.  

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