Attention people!

We at the Department of Misinformation need to make you aware of a vile, disgusting, monstrous scourge which has been unleashed on our clean, unspoilt society. That includes your children! A drug of unparalleled evil which has claimed the minds of thousands and disrupted the lives of millions! This drug is called KNOWLEDGE, although it goes by many names depending on the type and purity, including INTELLIGENCE, RATIONALITY, REASON and INTELLECTUALISM.

The effects:

- KNOWLEDGE makes people claim they \"know\" more about things.
- KNOWLEDGE makes people feel in tune with their surroundings – sounds and colours are more intense. People claim to have a \"more open mind\".
- KNOWLEDGE makes people euphoric, chatty and willing to pass on their \"information\" to other people, sometimes against their will.

The risks:

- KNOWLEDGE is incredibly addictive - a furtive interest in KNOWLEDGE is all it takes to get completely and utterly hooked, because once you absorb a single dose of KNOWLEDGE, then you cannot stop - you want more and more and more, and before long it consumes your whole life!

- KNOWLEDGE may be exhilarating at times if the dose administered is positive and leads to a good trip, but nearly all KNOWLEDGE in the world is negative, which will often lead to a bad trip. People have exhibited feelings of hopelessness, despair and futility, thinking that the world is a bad place to live and that nothing will ever change.

- Attempting to get through a particularly heavy source of KNOWLEDGE (for example, the particularly cumbersome strain known as \"quantum physics\") may lead to KNOWLEDGE overdose, leading to feelings of inadequacy and failure.

- KNOWLEDGE addicts may experience animosity, paranoia, hatred and develop a bizarre schizophrenia-like disease where they constantly have a strange irrational desire to \"stick it to the man\".

- If many KNOWLEDGE users exhibiting the above symptoms gather together, this can have catastrophic consequences, leading to unrest, violence and even DEATH as they try and achieve a twisted apocalyptic nirvana known as a \"revolution\".

Oh no! Sounds terrible! What steps can I take to avoid this wretched poison?

Fear not, comrade! We at the DOM have compiled a short guide on how to protect yourself from KNOWLEDGE:

- Stay away from the following items and EVERYTHING containing the following words, for they contain toxic amounts of KNOWLEDGE:  Books, documentaries, \"paedia\" (it\'s a lot like \"paedo\" which is also bad!), \"science\", \"economics\", \"philosophy\" and \"freedom\".

- Stay away from the following establishments, for they deal and push KNOWLEDGE: \"Library\", \"Bookshop\", \"University\" (with the exception of the safe DOM University), anything with \"Biblio\" as part of the word, any newspaper or magazine which looks dull and uninteresting, anything which doesn\'t have the words \"celeb\", \"goss\", \"football\" or \"OMG\" written in giant brightly coloured capital letters on the cover.

- Stay away from ANYONE holding any of the above items, and steer especially clear of anyone wearing glasses (unless they\'re big huge tacky sunglasses) - they contain an intense, evil kind of X-ray known as KNOWLEDGE VISION, which blasts pure people with toxic radioactivity and sees through your child\'s clothes! NASTY! 

I think I\'ve accidentally taken in some KNOWLEDGE! What do I do?

Don\'t worry! Knowing you\'ve made a terrible mistake which you will never make again - for The Leader will not like you if you make it again - is half the battle won! There is an antidote known as IGNORANCE which you can take, and over a period of time, not only will it nullify the KNOWLEDGE, but it will also fill your life with joy and bliss without side effects! It\'s the perfect substance, which is why, like alcohol and nicotine, it is legal and sponsored by your friendly ruler, The Leader!

Where can I get doses of IGNORANCE? Tell me!

It is simple to find, and even more readily available than KNOWLEDGE! IGNORANCE, aka STUPIDITY, MUNDANITY, BULLSHIT, CONFORMISM, CONSUMERISM, FASHION, GOSSIP, CELEBRITY NEWS, FOOTBALL UPDATE, and ENTERTAINMENT, comes in many shapes, strains and sizes and can be administered in the following ways:

- Tabloids
- Reality TV
- Sports channels
- Internet sites with a lot of capital letters, abbrevs and the colour pink
- Youtube user-posted webcam videos
- Any gathering of unnaturally orange people (both staying out in the sun too long and and fake tan are notable side effects of too much IGNORANCE)
- Any television show where young, spoilt, rich people are filmed being as spoilt, eccentric and idiotic as possible

IGNORANCE is a nice, pleasant drug! It conjures up a state of perma-bliss, it makes people passionate and chatty but without the negative side effects of KNOWLEDGE, and furthermore, it makes you feel like you matter and that the focus is always on YOU! 

So there you go people! We hope you will take heed of all the things we\'ve said to you today, and you can go away feeling like you can protect yourself from this deadly drug, and embrace the nice, friendly, fun, effortless alternative! 

Remember: KNOWLEDGE IS DANGEROUS, IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

You posted this originally on your blog right? If not, I wonder why I recall reading it.

Before I go further, it actually reminds me of someone from the old site who sadly had to be banned. This certain member decided to rip into people, in a very cruel way and she would make people actually believe Simon Cowell is a saint. I think because we gave her good feedback, yet one piece didn\'t quite go down well (for her), it turned her into something quite dangerous and thought her intellect made her above others.

Some funny parts which made me laugh, even though I swear I have read this.

This said, I do wonder what made you write it in the first place? I can\'t just be the dangers of boredom can it?

This feels very dystopian, I love it and want to comment further but I want to read it a few more times first

Love it! Perfectly describes current society. I am wondering if the conservative government is in charge of the Department of Misinformation as it certainly sounds like the sort of mass communication we can expect from them. Now I\'m worried I may have been infected with intelligence so to be on the safe side shall grab a couple of tabloids to peruse along with the latest gossip mag.