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avatar_Call me Cordelia

The Awakening

Started by Call me Cordelia, October 17, 2015, 04:21:59 PM

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avatar_Call me Cordelia

Call me Cordelia

This is one of my favorite poems, but I cannot explain it, nor do I understand it. It came to me after I watched http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0258816/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_26\">The Reckoning. I think I need to rewatch the movie and see what kind of reaction I have to it now...-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------THE AWAKENING
© frohmberg 2007scream in the night
a small baby\'s cry
a mother\'s lament
for her child will hidethe walking dead
a curse on his head
a mother\'s lament
for her child will diethe baby grew
his mother knew
an eminent ascent
for her child will lienow a grown man
forsake thy hand
an eminent ascent
for her child will fightbattles are won
but his life is done
deny all descent
for her child of mightleader of light
giver of sight
deny all descent
for her child of flighttake wing, young man
you must away
your splendor reserved for another day
your proud brow will aid you now
it is a gift from your father  
I am a high school teacher, avid reader, and life-long writer.
my blog

avatar_stewart alexander

stewart alexander

enjoyed this lovely.. especially the last few lines   x
My Website
To suckle life ..
To enjoy the nectar and glory ..
Of circling your demons ..
With glaciers forming every story ..

avatar_Call me Cordelia

Call me Cordelia

Thanks /profile/11-stewart-alexander/\" data-ipshover=\"\" data-ipshover-target=\"http://poetryartonline.com/profile/11-stewart-alexander/?do=hovercard\" data-mentionid=\"11\">@stewart alexander. I\'m not sure what happened with the formatting before, it\'s fixed now as it was intended to look. The last lines are my favorites, too.
I am a high school teacher, avid reader, and life-long writer.
my blog

avatar_cheeky~k8

cheeky~k8

This is a nice poem.. well wrote!The story of the poem is good and it goes together really well.

avatar_Call me Cordelia

Call me Cordelia

Thanks /profile/2-cheeky~k8/\" data-ipshover=\"\" data-ipshover-target=\"http://poetryartonline.com/profile/2-cheeky~k8/?do=hovercard\" data-mentionid=\"2\">@cheeky~k8. I\'m still not sure what the story is. I think I may use it to write something longer... someday.
I am a high school teacher, avid reader, and life-long writer.
my blog

avatar_SpaceMonkey

SpaceMonkey

I really like the ending, a lot.  And I love the 3rd line repeats and the 4th line repetition too.  I have never seen The Reckoning so I don\'t know if your poem is about the movie directly or not.  I also really liked how you ended the poem in a more free verse style while the bulk of the poem is not.  It made the ending fresh for me, like a dash of cool water to the face  on a hot day.  \"an eminent ascent\" is a line I might edit for no other reason than it\'s 6 syllable length is not matched in any other line before the last stanza, when I read this that line kind of clunks me up.  Which is lame because the actual line \"an eminent ascent\" is really quite a pretty line it\'s my favorite one before the last stanza.   Anyways thanks for sharing it.    

avatar_Chris

Chris

Bravo! You had me hooked instantly but the mentioning of \'walking dead\' really struck a line with me.

In fact it is my favourite part.

avatar_Call me Cordelia

Call me Cordelia

Thanks Chris and Jerry. As I was reading it before posting, I was also struck by the \"walking dead\" line. I wrote this long before the TV show, funnily.
I am a high school teacher, avid reader, and life-long writer.
my blog