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avatar_HomesickAlienPoet

Let Boulders be Bygones

Started by HomesickAlienPoet, September 17, 2015, 06:28:07 AM

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avatar_HomesickAlienPoet

HomesickAlienPoet

Shoestrings and sails
led us to separate shores
Eldorado  & Babylon
the mighty and small
stand statuesque or fall
cupp\'d in the palm of Time\'s
calloused clinching/unclinching
hand
a rhythmic reflex
to rise up & crush
the systemic epidemic
dream that is existence.

I\'m too tired to move mountains
when monumental efforts barely
move dumb lips, trained
only to feast fearfully,
never giving back
except when gorged
to point of vomiting.
Its easier, more remote
reliable to pushapen
trap thoughts on paper
spray-paint a grateful wall
leave graffiti on skin
trap insight in a bottle.

Save me Sisyphus
from monotonous 
endeavor.
Let me be
not much moved
by my own cleverness. 

avatar_Chris

Chris

There\'s a nice blend with your chosen words here, which certainly makes it stand out.

The story within this piece develops nicely, it\'s almost woven as you read it and the final part is really a joy to read. \"Save me sisyphus, from monotonous, endeavor\". Exactly what I am referring too.

Great stuff, keep \'em coming!

L

liam

I think the start is strong, that is my favourite part about this poem.
Shoestrings and sails
led us to separate shores
Eldorado  & Babylon
the mighty and small
stand statuesque or fall
cupp\'d in the palm of Time\'s
calloused clinching/unclinching
hand[/quote]This is very well written. Thumbs up!  

J

Joe Jones

I love this. Such a fine, flowing read. The words glide effortlessly off the screen. And I love the subject matter as well. The mundanity of life, of existence. It\'s incredibly deep - well done!

avatar_FrostyKitten

FrostyKitten

Love this poem! I really like how you introduced a lot of references to Greek mythology and such because it brings another level of depth to it.I also like the play on words you got going on such as\"I\'m too tired to move mountains
when monumental efforts barely
move dumb lips\"Definitely looking forward to reading more of your work  Now excuse me while i reread this to find \"hidden meanings\" that aren\'t really there, but are always fun to \"find.\"
Stay frosty!
Love,
ILY the Frosty Kitten
https://instagram.com/frostykitten/

avatar_SpaceMonkey

SpaceMonkey

Nice commentary on society, I hate going to work too Don\'t really know what else to say about this, it was in and out of my mind all day since I read it the first time.  

D

dragonwyst


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